When Someone is Secretly Jealous of You

If we come across someone who harbours envy, competition or even hatred towards us without reason, it can be helpful to know that their emotions usually link back to an abusive childhood. 

A jealous person tends to have experienced prolonged comparisons, loneliness, envy, disdain or criticism at some stage in their formative years (between conception and adolescence), which caused emotional wounding and a distorted sense of self. Classic: narcissistic mother and / or father who are abusive, unattentive and unable to provide loving encouragement to their child. 

Although both parents are important, the mother-daughter dynamics as well as the son-father dynamics are particularly influential. If a mother is jealous of her daughter‘s accomplishments, the child not only becomes confused, but often gives up to secure mum’s approval. It seems easier and perhaps safer for the daughter to do nothing and therefore not expose herself to criticism. A destructive pattern that runs through all her adult life and gets passed on to the next generation, if it remains unhealed.

The son of a narcissistic father tends to get idealised and expected to fullfill his father‘s vision. The son is not seen for who he really is. And he is never able to live up to dad‘s ideal. Therewith has a similarly abusive childhood as the above described daughter: emotional enmeshment and lack of acknowledgement, leading to self-doubts, confusion,  suppressed anger and sadness, shame and insecurity.

12 Signs Someone is Secretly Jealous of You:
1. Sabotages you with their Advice
2. Subtle Rivalry
3. Imitates you in some way
4. Steals your ideas / opportunities
5. Deceptive Compliments  
6. Rarely admires you with Sincerity
7. Ignores your Creative Output 
8. Embarrasses you in front of others
9. Incoherent Responsiveness 
10. Starts / spreads Rumours 
11. Dislikes you for No Reason
12. Will make you feel Inferior

So while the person who displays jealousy towards you is surely in need healing (above all inner child integration and a spiritual practice that facilitates self-awareness), it is not your job to fix him or her. 

Just stay kind, inspire healing and move on.

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