I have started studying India’s Philosophies (Darshana) with a Professor for Vedic Literature and Sanskrit. And it is absolutely fantastic. He is 76 years old and began life as student of the Brahmin traditions at his family‘s University (Gurukula) when only 5 years old. Later on he moved to Varanasi, the spiritual HQ for Sanskrit. He has more than 50 years of teaching experience and I’m blessed to have 1:1 lectures with him. The recent class with him confirmed my own experiences in life as well as the insights I gained by working as holistic life coach: the importance of respecting all our ancestors, and in particular our mother and father.
Now, feeling sincere honour and gratitude towards our parents is easier said than done when we had a troublesome childhood. When we were neglected and abused (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually). When we were pushed far too early into taking care of ourselves, our siblings and our parents (becoming a “Parentified Child”). The consequences and imprints of our traumata, the emotional wounds and resentments can sit deeply and well hidden (almost forgotten). If they remain unhealed, they usually lead us to feel more or less silent resentments and expectations towards our parents – anger mixed with a sense of entitlement to receive some sort of reparations.
More often than not, this results in sense of superiority, which is of course the opposite to respect and appreciation. Superiority typically takes turns with submission, et voila, we have key points for why we feel incoherent and are indeed out of alignment.
And it is understandable, that it is challenging or even impossible to feel heartfelt respect for mum and dad, – once we had a sobering review of our early years and realised that our upbringing was suboptimal. But I can assure you, there is a way out of this dilemma.
What helps in such circumstances and conflict, is a broadening of our horizons. A look at the grandparents as well as ancestors. Most likely we will gain information that will help us to understand why our parents behaved the way they did. We can begin to connect the dots, see the bigger picture, re-member our wounded inner child aspects and heal ourselves. This completion and closure is permanent and empowering. Love and lifeforce energy that was blocked and frozen in dissociated parts of ourselves and negative feelings towards our family of origin, get freed and bring us back into a positive life flow.
With this post I would like to invite you to check the relationships you have with your family of origin: your mother, your father, your grandmothers, grandfathers and beyond, such as aunts, uncles, cousins. Review your life but also their lives and the lives of other family members covering the past 2-3 generations.
Are there any family member forgotten / shunned / lost / aborted / killed? Acknowledge what happened and ask divine spirit to heal and harmonise all disruptions. This will support you in bringing back healing order into your lineage.
Once you feel truly at peace and also grateful for the life that comes to you through your parents and grandparents, you can call upon your ancestors for support (wherever they might be, on / off planet).
It is amazing what can unfold when we bring our own house (ancestral lineage) in order and pray for everyones’ well being. Just remember that you have to consciously ask the ancestors for their help and wisdom in your life.
After decades of self-healing, studies and further education in holistic and yogic practices as well as work with clients, I can see and sense, how the seemingly simple sentences in the Taittiriya Upanishad, are actually incredibly profound and powerful.
The ancient scriptures tell us that there are four Gods to be respected. First your mother, second your father, third your teachers and fourth your guests.
देवपितृकार्याभ्यां न प्रमदितव्यम् । Do not neglect your duty to the Gods & Ancestors.
मातृदेवो भव । Regard the Mother as your God. – Matr Devo Bhava
पितृदेवो भव । Regard the Father as your God. – Pitr Devo Bhava
आचार्यदेवो भव । Regard the Teacher as your God. – Achariya Devo Bhava
अतिथिदेवो भव । Regard the Guest as your God. – Atithi Devo Bhava
And the 5th God would be the eternal invisible supreme Superpower.
The scriptures do not give any further explanations. And that’s ok. Truth reveals itself in divine, right timing.
And for those who would like to leave destructive family and relationship dynamics behind, help is at hand. If you are ready for a deep dive into your family constellations to harmonise repeated negative thought and behaviour patterns, just get in touch with me.